"This could really use a vacuuming" something I would never have said 2 years ago in any which way or world. When I got back about 5 days ago it was like a whirlwind that left me dizzy for a good 24+ hours that was more like the first 3 days where I had so many things to do and so much English to use to do it. I think that was the first part of culture shock that really hit the hardest was how I couldn't just say "thank you" or "have a nice night" in Japanese to everyone without the weirdest of faces (which are priceless btw), but I just knew it was coming when immigration broke my heart and put a hole in my resident card. To think that it will be a week tomorrow.
I've bought a car, gone through almost all of my old stuff (not my books), applied for a place to live in Charleston, driven over a thousand miles, celebrated a birthday, had a family dinner and truly met my niece's personality for the first time, gotten car insurance, applied for health insurance, and met a good 15+ people, and probably more that I'm forgetting yet it hasn't even been a week. I forgot how fast the U.S. can move sometimes. Also I've had a new flavor of mountain dew, and had probably 3 other bottles of it too. No one has ever called me classy with a straight face.
And I miss it. I miss being in love and enjoying it in person every day, fights included. I miss seeing my sharehouse mates and making them drink on Saturday nights, and sometimes Tuesdays. I miss the food, ugh it was to die for. I'd travel exclusively for the food if it were possible. I miss the hidden beauty in the clutter of the small town backroads. I miss the temples, the signs, the people watching, and I miss being 2 hours from an adventure that I could never imagine in my wiliest of my dreams.
I don't miss the people, their judgement, their eyes glaring a hole in my skull because of something inappropriate that I was doing (intentionally or otherwise), and just the sheer unbelievable numbers of them. I don't miss running for the trains or how bosses are hostile in almost every situation. And I don't miss some other things I can't remember, but pros and cons. Life is filled with pros and cons.
"Today is my birthday" is what one of my sweet older students told me and I just near freaked out. I was so excited, she was such a happy person. She started laughing because of the 5+ emotions that probably flashed across my face in an instant and most of those are what you would never see on that of a seasoned gaijin or a Japanese person, oh the horror. We had about 8 or 9 lessons together the past couple Fridays and even though I couldn't tell you 5 things about her now, I could tell you which student she was. And then I said "I wish I would have gotten you a gift" before we had started the lesson. And then her response brought me to tears the first time (of a few) during a lesson. "My gift is having a lesson with my favorite teacher. Because for my 70th birthday I am going to do all of my favorite things and one of those is visiting you". The tears come even now.
"Will you marry me for the weekend Mike?" Once again I am a sap. I am not going to tell you about my favorite meal of tuna or ramen, but I will tell you about this. It was Christmas, it was one of the first ones that I had spent away from home. And it was too expensive and work wouldn't even let me take Christmas Eve off so it wasn't really an option. But we got on a plane to the middle of nowhere, for an adventure I had on my bucket list but thought I would never check off my list. But I told Akito I wanted to go and then he planned it, as always. So on the plane I lost my hearing because my ear canals exploded, and it was horrifying. And on Christmas morning I was in a hospital getting a very large probe inserted into my face by a 75 year old doctor who was working his last week. And he gave me a good 70% in one ear and 25% in the other ear, and told me I wouldn't be flying back. And then I went and got to hold a fox! I got to pet a fox, play with a fox, and chase them around doing things that the signs said not to do and feed a bunch of foxes! It was awesome. And that night, I called my family to say Merry Christmas, and Akito gave me a hat, and then as we were sleeping he asked me to marry him for the weekend. We had seen it in a movie, and it became a horribly sappy tradition that happened on a couple occasion even though he only wanted to do it once or twice. I was sort of insistent and stubborn that it had to happen for no reason there after just so I could feel the joy of it all. Me? Stubborn or insistent? Never. And I said yes.
"You'll come back right?" was what so many people said to me in language after language. And I will go back, because it's my home. Japan stole a piece of my heart and I paid a price from my soul to exist there for so long, but it was worth it. If you were ever considering taking some time to travel or even going to teach English somewhere I would say 'go, why are you even still talking to me'. It was worth every moment of stress, all the anxiety, all of the culture shock, because the payment was memories, language, culture, life and above all a lot of love. I regret nothing, and I say thank you to the End and cheers to the coming beginning. I'm going to go from Mike-teacher to Doctor Mike, sounds pretty interesting right? Stay tuned.
Friday, December 21, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
New Years Resolution!
"If you have a dollar you have plenty to share" Rihanna at her Humanitarian of the Year Speech
I've come a miraculously long way from almost being punched over Beef and Broccoli at Panda Express almost 3 years ago, wild isn't it? How life can change in what can seem like seconds but turns out to be years. Today I am trying to organize, write, and decide my next steps in life after a tumultuous year yet I don't know what to do! But that gets me to my New Years Resolution! Or at least the two of them.
First New Years Resolution: Patience!
Granted I am assigning due dates to my life over the course of the next few months but I am focusing on being more patient with myself and the world around me. Don't judge too much, don't roll my eyes to magically hope I can be reassured with my own brain, and just enjoy life day by day. Life is too short to not think about how everything else is working and quite frankly I have too many things to do in life before I feel better about every little thing in the end of it all.
I think that we focus so hard on getting every little thing done that is put in front of us that we lose track of the grand goal. When I speak to my amazing boyfriend about life I am constantly just inspired to sit back and enjoy the ride a little bit. I asked him the other day what he wants...and he said 'to spend as much time as I can with you' after thinking for a brief bit. You have no idea how nice it is to hear such a simple plan in mind and be able to accomplish it (among other things;). I think that I need to work on making myself so crazy about finding answers and focus on just working on things day by day.
Second New Years Resolution: Philanthropy and Donating!
I honestly don't think I give back enough. I think that every day I am lucky without realizing it, and that many people in the meantime are doing the exact same thing that I am! As Rihanna said "if you have a dollar than you have money to share" and even though I am in a little bit of debt from my education, I still want to try to give back a bit! So first I will donate some money to my parents Cancer center. Thanks to Memorial Sloan Kettering I've had the opportunity of having both my mother and father extra years; fights and all. My father still battles with his pancreatic cancer that has spread to multiple organs and I can help other people keep their father, or their daughter, or their family member and friends. I have a few dollars for that.
Let me know what your New Years Resolutions are!
I've come a miraculously long way from almost being punched over Beef and Broccoli at Panda Express almost 3 years ago, wild isn't it? How life can change in what can seem like seconds but turns out to be years. Today I am trying to organize, write, and decide my next steps in life after a tumultuous year yet I don't know what to do! But that gets me to my New Years Resolution! Or at least the two of them.
First New Years Resolution: Patience!
Granted I am assigning due dates to my life over the course of the next few months but I am focusing on being more patient with myself and the world around me. Don't judge too much, don't roll my eyes to magically hope I can be reassured with my own brain, and just enjoy life day by day. Life is too short to not think about how everything else is working and quite frankly I have too many things to do in life before I feel better about every little thing in the end of it all.
I think that we focus so hard on getting every little thing done that is put in front of us that we lose track of the grand goal. When I speak to my amazing boyfriend about life I am constantly just inspired to sit back and enjoy the ride a little bit. I asked him the other day what he wants...and he said 'to spend as much time as I can with you' after thinking for a brief bit. You have no idea how nice it is to hear such a simple plan in mind and be able to accomplish it (among other things;). I think that I need to work on making myself so crazy about finding answers and focus on just working on things day by day.
Second New Years Resolution: Philanthropy and Donating!
I honestly don't think I give back enough. I think that every day I am lucky without realizing it, and that many people in the meantime are doing the exact same thing that I am! As Rihanna said "if you have a dollar than you have money to share" and even though I am in a little bit of debt from my education, I still want to try to give back a bit! So first I will donate some money to my parents Cancer center. Thanks to Memorial Sloan Kettering I've had the opportunity of having both my mother and father extra years; fights and all. My father still battles with his pancreatic cancer that has spread to multiple organs and I can help other people keep their father, or their daughter, or their family member and friends. I have a few dollars for that.
Let me know what your New Years Resolutions are!
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Life Goes On - Don't Forget
I may not succeed, I may not win but I will remember.
You know when I remember the art of rhetoric, convincing people (the art of persuasiveness as it is properly defined - also being a manipulative *****), and I sit in my house in Tokyo (imagine that, eh?), I can't help but think that once upon a time I was lost in a world that i knew well. Well the good news is I have fought my way across 37 states, 21 (and counting) countries, and I have found so many different dreams that I can't seem to just pick one into it's own existence! But being on the other side of the world doesn't help very much, considering that my use of the language may be fluent but not native. Did you know that in the past 6 months I managed to net over 2 grand? Take money off my debt? In a country that some people "wouldn't last a day"?
Two days ago I chose to be honest yet again. Everyone that knows me understands and comes to grip with the fact that I have honest intentions. God if you could just imagine how many people I love, how many people I believe in, how much I want people to succeed. At Gaba I managed to find people who could find their own future taking chances, finding dreams, finding time to not be "normal", and it's truly been my honor to give up a piece of my soul as a gift to their own. I, regretfully, define love as something that is when I can exist as a different person thanks to someone else's, however potentially brief, input into my own life. As the "sap" that could probably grow a damn tree I love quite a number of people! And I'm proud of that! I have been a star in so many ways. "If I hadn't have taken your advice" or "Without you" is basically the tenets of my life that I realize I don't regret for a moment!
One day when we take a deep breath we realize that we have forgotten more important things than we have actually remembered at work. I think that when people set an ideal, set a dream, set the strategy for a match, they realize that what they are doing is creating a business, creating a dream of their own goals and something that other people may one day aspire to be in their own setting, own self? I thought of establishing a business called "Fruit First" where i would sell both cupcakes and amazing ripe, locally grown fruits, and try to focus on America being actually Healthy for the Soul. Which I teach more often than not. And you know what's funny? I think it is great idea! I mean of course it is my own so I am a tiny sliver biased, but what do you think? Success in the making? It'd be good, right? Eat a piece of fruit, eat something good! And regretfully it's a good idea that inspired by my own mother that I've had such a love hate relationship for years with.
I had a dream last night that I was back at home, existing in a place that I didn't know what I was doing, in a place where I was thinking of the things that could happen without being the impetus for some new beginning. I've realized that I will always forget things that don't drive me forward, because when it comes down to it that if it doesn't matter in 5 years then why the hell to we care? Why do we care when it won't matter in 2 years? Maybe in a day? Why do we stress to give ourselves hell when we can exist in happiness and in a place where our future is an actual possibility? Why? Because most of the time we end up like the idiots society wants us to be. Because we are not destined for small things, we are destined for change, however small. We are destined to exist as a person that has seen more than not, to travel, to believe, to help, to educate, and to end up in debt either way. Because that's the god Honest truth. Note the capitalization.
Regardless, have a nice day!
~mike w
You know when I remember the art of rhetoric, convincing people (the art of persuasiveness as it is properly defined - also being a manipulative *****), and I sit in my house in Tokyo (imagine that, eh?), I can't help but think that once upon a time I was lost in a world that i knew well. Well the good news is I have fought my way across 37 states, 21 (and counting) countries, and I have found so many different dreams that I can't seem to just pick one into it's own existence! But being on the other side of the world doesn't help very much, considering that my use of the language may be fluent but not native. Did you know that in the past 6 months I managed to net over 2 grand? Take money off my debt? In a country that some people "wouldn't last a day"?
Two days ago I chose to be honest yet again. Everyone that knows me understands and comes to grip with the fact that I have honest intentions. God if you could just imagine how many people I love, how many people I believe in, how much I want people to succeed. At Gaba I managed to find people who could find their own future taking chances, finding dreams, finding time to not be "normal", and it's truly been my honor to give up a piece of my soul as a gift to their own. I, regretfully, define love as something that is when I can exist as a different person thanks to someone else's, however potentially brief, input into my own life. As the "sap" that could probably grow a damn tree I love quite a number of people! And I'm proud of that! I have been a star in so many ways. "If I hadn't have taken your advice" or "Without you" is basically the tenets of my life that I realize I don't regret for a moment!
One day when we take a deep breath we realize that we have forgotten more important things than we have actually remembered at work. I think that when people set an ideal, set a dream, set the strategy for a match, they realize that what they are doing is creating a business, creating a dream of their own goals and something that other people may one day aspire to be in their own setting, own self? I thought of establishing a business called "Fruit First" where i would sell both cupcakes and amazing ripe, locally grown fruits, and try to focus on America being actually Healthy for the Soul. Which I teach more often than not. And you know what's funny? I think it is great idea! I mean of course it is my own so I am a tiny sliver biased, but what do you think? Success in the making? It'd be good, right? Eat a piece of fruit, eat something good! And regretfully it's a good idea that inspired by my own mother that I've had such a love hate relationship for years with.
I had a dream last night that I was back at home, existing in a place that I didn't know what I was doing, in a place where I was thinking of the things that could happen without being the impetus for some new beginning. I've realized that I will always forget things that don't drive me forward, because when it comes down to it that if it doesn't matter in 5 years then why the hell to we care? Why do we care when it won't matter in 2 years? Maybe in a day? Why do we stress to give ourselves hell when we can exist in happiness and in a place where our future is an actual possibility? Why? Because most of the time we end up like the idiots society wants us to be. Because we are not destined for small things, we are destined for change, however small. We are destined to exist as a person that has seen more than not, to travel, to believe, to help, to educate, and to end up in debt either way. Because that's the god Honest truth. Note the capitalization.
Regardless, have a nice day!
~mike w
Thursday, September 14, 2017
200 Days (and a few earthquakes) Later
I'm a dreamer.
Yesterday I was running on 2 hours of sleep, lugging my way through Tokyo walking on an endless labyrinth of bridges in the haze of the afternoon sun and smog and wondering "what in the hell am I doing". I think that since I've moved here I've asked that question more times than I ever had, and as the ever evil existentialist (especially if I've had tequila) most people know I think about those things a lot. As I was walking by a small construction site, a construction guard worked up the courage to say "have a nice day" in English to me without any prompting. I realize that I have my standards for a reason and the smile that has lasted on my face 24 hours is a gift that actually cost him nothing.
I realized yesterday that the word for earthquake and self-confidence are actually the same in Japanese. Now considering this is a country that has been plagued with some of the largest earthquakes in the past five centuries I wonder how the language had evolved in that way. See, here, people only focus on their self worth when it applies to other people - it is literally the culture. The exact opposite of the U.S., eh? And after years of self-degradation, hatred, and some love fitted in between the sheets (metaphor people! metaphor! well partially ;), I realize how similar those words, earthquake and confidence, actually are.\
Courage is the Magic that turns dreams into Reality. Life Rule #1.
I think it's about time that I have written down what I love about my life, what I dream about tomorrow, and what my goals are for the future. I sort of imagine my life to be like the Grand Canyon, and yes Laura I'm glad you dragged me there for 2 glorious days. Once upon a time it was the same as everything else, just a flat field with a river running through it. After thousands of trials, storms, eroding (not to mention years), it is one of the most stunning places on the planet. Life feels small when you realize that we are just a speck of dust in the wheel of time, but we can make a different. And when we realize that life should only shake when the actual Earth itself moves instead of the mental prisons we commit ourselves to, maybe confidence is a prerequisite for making change.
Have a nice day!
~MFriday, January 27, 2017
Humility and Opportunity
The truth is you never know whats going to happen in life until it bites you in the ass. I would like to believe that I am a planner, someone with OCD, and a dreamer, but a couple of weeks ago someone near to my heart said something about me that still rings true.
"He has a direction and he going to do great things. But he doesn't know what those things are, and the best part is neither do the rest of us. Until then I'll still tell the same story of how you put wedding invitations in the refrigerator." Thanks Melanie.
Granted, there was a lot of wine. We were in New Jersey, of course there was a lot of wine. But I think I learned more in that moment than I have in the past couple months, and nothing has inspired me forward like those words did.
When I was on Semester at Sea I discovered a number of things. How to deal without having plumbing, getting locked in an elevator with 11 semi-strangers and laughing, to knowing how to treat 1st degree burns after a sexual encounter in a shower, but if I learned anything the most on that life changing trip it was humility.
We were in Myanmar and I was in Bagan. Now just as a hint to described what was going on in the country my most expensive meal was 7 dollars. And I drank a little too much. I have photos to prove the scenery was like nothing I had ever seen before. But my best souvenir from SAS as a whole was this T-Shirt I bought in Myanmar.
"Parleis vous francais?", "konbanwa okyakusama", "hey, how are you doing" to languages I had just recently heard in China and Vietnam, plus her mother tongue of Burmese. There was this girl wearing a white T-Shirt and shorts talking to all of the people about to get on the boat in more languages than I could count (and I am a snob about languages) trying to sell these locally made T-Shirts.
I wanted to be away from all of the people and they were checking out the local shops before we went on our river tour, but I was sitting against a tree just watching this young girl who couldn't have been more than 14 sell T-shirts. She had a couple customers here and there but most were trying to get to their destination and didn't pay too much attention. Though some were surprised by her array of greetings. I was fascinated, still am.
I walked up to the little girl and asked her how much her T-shirts were being sold for, she told me 3 dollars but you could buy 2 for 5. And then she quoted the price to me in a couple different currencies that I might have had on me.
We then went on to have a conversation about her because I asked her a couple questions. Her name was Suwee, she spoke 9 languages conversationally, and could understand 14. She came here to sell T-shirts in the morning and then in the evening, and went to school in the afternoon. When she told me she was 9 years old I was floored. 9 years old and she spoke a language per year? One of my professors told me I should go to a country and a state per year I lived, but imagine speaking that many languages at that age?
It was her way to support her 3 siblings and family by working, and learning the best way to sell T-shirts her family made. I went to my tour guide and asked him if he could translate my 40 dollars in to the Burmese currency (which I forget the name of at the moment). He said "what could you spend that much money on? I'm sure I could negotiate a better price". I told him it was all I had on me for the rest of the trip. There were only a few days left but this was more important.
I gave all of the money I had to the young, fascinating and brilliant young girl who spoke 9 languages, understood 14, and sold T-Shirts before and after school with ratty shoes. And the sad thing is is that one day she might not be able to see the world outside of her own city, let alone outside of her own country, and she will know how to speak more languages than I ever will even if I studied for the rest of my life.
Yet we complain, we are sad, and when things don't go our way we throw tantrums. Whenever I have a bad day this story puts my mind back into perspective along with a whole slew of memories like this, but this is one I treasure most.
Remember that when you approach someone else, when you speak your mind, when you take a shit and the toilet flushes, you are privileged. You are lucky, you are loved, and you have a future that you control almost 99% of, don't waste it. Because some people don't have the option.
29 Days until I move to Japan. Until next time.
P.S. here's some photos from Myanmar that I adore;
"He has a direction and he going to do great things. But he doesn't know what those things are, and the best part is neither do the rest of us. Until then I'll still tell the same story of how you put wedding invitations in the refrigerator." Thanks Melanie.
Granted, there was a lot of wine. We were in New Jersey, of course there was a lot of wine. But I think I learned more in that moment than I have in the past couple months, and nothing has inspired me forward like those words did.
When I was on Semester at Sea I discovered a number of things. How to deal without having plumbing, getting locked in an elevator with 11 semi-strangers and laughing, to knowing how to treat 1st degree burns after a sexual encounter in a shower, but if I learned anything the most on that life changing trip it was humility.
We were in Myanmar and I was in Bagan. Now just as a hint to described what was going on in the country my most expensive meal was 7 dollars. And I drank a little too much. I have photos to prove the scenery was like nothing I had ever seen before. But my best souvenir from SAS as a whole was this T-Shirt I bought in Myanmar.
"Parleis vous francais?", "konbanwa okyakusama", "hey, how are you doing" to languages I had just recently heard in China and Vietnam, plus her mother tongue of Burmese. There was this girl wearing a white T-Shirt and shorts talking to all of the people about to get on the boat in more languages than I could count (and I am a snob about languages) trying to sell these locally made T-Shirts.
I wanted to be away from all of the people and they were checking out the local shops before we went on our river tour, but I was sitting against a tree just watching this young girl who couldn't have been more than 14 sell T-shirts. She had a couple customers here and there but most were trying to get to their destination and didn't pay too much attention. Though some were surprised by her array of greetings. I was fascinated, still am.
I walked up to the little girl and asked her how much her T-shirts were being sold for, she told me 3 dollars but you could buy 2 for 5. And then she quoted the price to me in a couple different currencies that I might have had on me.
We then went on to have a conversation about her because I asked her a couple questions. Her name was Suwee, she spoke 9 languages conversationally, and could understand 14. She came here to sell T-shirts in the morning and then in the evening, and went to school in the afternoon. When she told me she was 9 years old I was floored. 9 years old and she spoke a language per year? One of my professors told me I should go to a country and a state per year I lived, but imagine speaking that many languages at that age?
It was her way to support her 3 siblings and family by working, and learning the best way to sell T-shirts her family made. I went to my tour guide and asked him if he could translate my 40 dollars in to the Burmese currency (which I forget the name of at the moment). He said "what could you spend that much money on? I'm sure I could negotiate a better price". I told him it was all I had on me for the rest of the trip. There were only a few days left but this was more important.
I gave all of the money I had to the young, fascinating and brilliant young girl who spoke 9 languages, understood 14, and sold T-Shirts before and after school with ratty shoes. And the sad thing is is that one day she might not be able to see the world outside of her own city, let alone outside of her own country, and she will know how to speak more languages than I ever will even if I studied for the rest of my life.
Yet we complain, we are sad, and when things don't go our way we throw tantrums. Whenever I have a bad day this story puts my mind back into perspective along with a whole slew of memories like this, but this is one I treasure most.
Remember that when you approach someone else, when you speak your mind, when you take a shit and the toilet flushes, you are privileged. You are lucky, you are loved, and you have a future that you control almost 99% of, don't waste it. Because some people don't have the option.
29 Days until I move to Japan. Until next time.
P.S. here's some photos from Myanmar that I adore;
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